Held in the Dark: Trusting God When Life Hurts More Than Words

 

There are seasons in life that stretch us beyond what we thought we could bear. Seasons where love looks like hard decisions, sleepless nights, and whispered prayers we never imagined we’d have to pray. This is one of those seasons for me.

Walking alongside my mom during this time has brought me face-to-face with grief, surrender, doubt, and an unfamiliar kind of faith. Not the loud, confident faith that declares victory—but the quiet faith that clings. The faith that simply says, “God, I need You to carry me.” I’m learning that trusting God doesn’t mean I understand what He’s doing. It means I trust who He is—even when my heart is heavy and my questions feel unanswered.

When Strength Is Gone, God Remains

There are days when my strength runs out before the day even begins. I’ve learned that God never asked me to be strong enough for this. He asked me to lean. Lean into His presence. Lean into His promises. Lean into His arms when mine feel empty.

Scripture reminds me that God is a present help—not a distant one. He shows up in hospital rooms, quiet tears, and moments when my breath catches from the weight of it all. He is near when words fail and emotions overwhelm.

Trusting God Without Understanding

This journey has required decisions I never wanted to make. And if I’m honest, there are moments when fear and doubt try to take the lead. But Proverbs tells us not to lean on our own understanding—and now I see why. My understanding is limited, emotional, and fragile. God’s wisdom is not.

Trusting God in this season looks like releasing control and believing that His heart is good—even when the road feels unbearably hard. It’s choosing faith when clarity is missing.

When Self-Doubt Tries to Take Over

Self-doubt is loud in moments like this. It questions every choice and magnifies every fear. Am I doing enough? Am I doing this right? Did I miss something?

But God gently reminds me: You were never meant to walk this alone.

He promises wisdom when we ask, peace when we’re overwhelmed, and reassurance when we feel unsure. I’m learning to silence the lies of doubt and listen instead for the steady voice of the Father reminding me that He is guiding each step.

Covered by Divine Protection

God’s protection doesn’t always look like deliverance from pain—but it always looks like His presence within it. I’ve felt His peace arrive when logic says it shouldn’t. I’ve felt strength rise when I knew I had none left.

God is guarding my heart in ways I don’t always recognize in the moment. He’s protecting my spirit from being crushed under the weight of grief. He is near—closer than I can feel on the hardest days.

Held by the Father

What brings me the most comfort is knowing that I am not holding everything together—God is. The same hands that formed my mother’s life are holding her now. And those same hands are holding me.

When I can’t walk another step, He carries me. When I can’t pray, He intercedes. When I can’t see what’s ahead, He already knows the way.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds. But I do know who holds me. And that is enough for today.

If you are walking through a dark season—especially as a caregiver—please know this: you are not weak for feeling tired, afraid, or unsure. You are human. And you are deeply loved by a God who does not leave you in the valley alone.

You are held. Even here.

Unapologetically, G.